Dear God...What Happend?

Lord, 

You started off sooooo strong with the whole creation.  I mean, creating yourself out of nothing, then all of the matter in the universe! The Earth, the Sea, the Heavens, and Man!!  That was amazing!  And you didn't stop there!

The plagues in the Old Testament were a great follow up.  I mean, killing sons, locusts out the ass,  the Flood.  You flooded the entire Earth because people weren't doin' what you wanted.  You were kickin' ass and takin' names.  You even had Abraham ready to knife his own kid, till you stepped in and was all like "Dude! don't do that!  I was just playin' fool!" Little did Abe know you were planning the same gig for yourself in the New Testament.  Looks like Jesus didn't get the pardon that Jacob did...oh well, you're God after all.

But what have you done for us lately!?  I mean, states are passing gay marriage left and right, and we all know you hate gays!  We can only wonder why you created them in the first place if you hate 'em so much.  Just saying it's weird.  No major plagues lately.  AIDS had potential, but it's really just killing the uneducated people in the most impoverished nations.  So much for the meek inheriting the Earth, eh?  And you are losing followers like crazy!  This would be a great time for some showmanship. But no...

You are reduced to revealing yourself to half-wits in grilled cheese sandwiches.  What's with that.  It's like four or five grilled cheese sandwiches this year!  At least hit a pastrami on rye, a sandwich with a little old school flavor.  I mean, it's like Elvis' Vegas gigs...you're better than that dude.  Really, I'm not dissing your early work, but either retire or get back in the saddle. 

Sincerely,

Michael J. Migliacci