The Strange Tale of the Magical Men

I attended a small boarding school in Long Island, New York, called The Knox School.  

When I was first set to go, perhaps in the spring of 1989, I did not know what to expect.  I figured it would be a laugh riot, like The Facts of Life, or deep and meaningful like Dead Poet's Society, and a little vulgar like National Lampoon's Animal House.  It was all three.  Pranks were thoroughly planned and exquisitely carried out.  One stands out as exceptional and became a tradition which spanned years.  The nightly visit of the Magical Men.

One night my roommates and I were fast asleep in our tiny room on second floor of the then named New Dorm.  Suddenly the overhead lighting forced my eyes open like a glowing crowbar.  I clutched my sheets in terror as I saw three half naked bodies gyrating wildly around the room.  One, wearing nothing but thong underwear and a grotesque rubber Ronald Reagan mask, was sawing a pizza box in half.  Jimmy Carter, also wearing bikini-like undies was puffing baby powder into the air while thrusting his hips suggestively on the desk.  Finally, Nixon, completely naked performed karate moves on my roommates bed.

The look of sheer terror on David's face stands out to me even now.  Demola, was on top bunk and I can only imagine his wide eyes and bear teeth.  As for myself, I don't know how I felt it was all over in a matter of seconds.  The lights went out and we, being half asleep anyway, drifted off. 

The next morning I woke up to see Dave siting up in his bed looking at me and then at the faint dusting of baby powder on his bed and the desk.  "We're late! Demola yelled and we all rushed into our uniforms and down the hill for the 7:15 breakfast bell.  Dave and I were both seated that week in the main dinning room where the headmasters table was.  We were both exhausted staring at our sausage and eggs somewhat in a daze.  Suddenly Dave stood up, I looked at him from across the dining room.  "Last night!" he yelled.  Everyone was looking at him and then at me.  I got up quickly, even though it was forbidden, and ran out of the dinning room. Demola met us outside.

"Those freaks were in our room last night!"  We held each others arms like we were all about to start playing ring round the rosie.  "They've been there before." Demola whispered looking at Dave.  "Hang on, hang on...was Ronald Reagan sawing a pizza box last night?"  "OH MY GOD!" Dave said looking back and forth at the two of us.  "This happened before." I said.

Immediately after breakfast we confronted the pranksters.  Mitch Shivers, Brendan Leddy, and Rudolfo Antorcha.  "Finally!" they said with relief.  We've been in there 5 times this month.  At that moment it started to flood back to me.  A strange montage of nightly visits all lasting less than ten seconds but stored somewhere in my sleepy mind.  Each one more bizarre than the next.  I felt rapped.  My dreams invaded, my mind played with.  There was only one way to get even with a prank like this.

The next year we would be seniors.  Mitch, Rudolfo, and Brendan would be gone, their maskes passed on to a new generation of pranksters...The Magical Men would live on...

...for one more year at least.